I'm an Intern!!!!

That is right everyone! I am an intern. You are probably wondering what I could possibly be talking about. I never told you I was applying to be an intern. You are possibly also wondering if that is the reason I've been gone for so long.

I have left trails. But not many. And for that I do apologize. I should start at the beginning of this internship journey. While working on my Master's for Game Design, I have also had to work in part of a Shadow Program through the school. We have Capstones we need to get into in order to keep progressing through the program. Most of the Capstones are different studios that the school owns to work with.

There was one program I truly wanted to Intern with. The Serious Game Track has everything that I could possibly want in a studio. It is two different studio that are joined together. One is called CelleC and the other is Black Banshee. CelleC is all about education and Games for Change. Black Banshee is more of the horror, and adult games. Both are subjects I absolutely adore.

I'm sure you might remember, but I have mentioned what I want to do with this degree. I want to open up my own studio that focuses soley on Games for Change. I want to create games centered around helping those with mental illness, and the loved ones in their life. But I don't want to label the game as a "help" tool. When a person is in a dark head space, they are less likely to reach out and grab the object labeled help. Instead, they are more likely to grab the object labeled distraction.

I want my game to feel like it is a distraction when in reality it is a tool that is helping someone through a rough time. I want other games to feel like something fun to play, but be teaching those how to support the ones they love. Working with CelleC and Black Banshee, I will get the opportunity to learn more about how to create such games.

To be able to become an intern, I had to shadow with the track for a minimum of 60 hours. I had to maintain my regular school work and complete the different tasks.

Can you say pulling some overtime? It was a lot, but definitely worth it. I could have taken an easier route and done the writing internship, and worked more on my game writing. But because I want to open my studio, I recognize that I need to know more about all aspects and design covers a little bit of everything.

So that is what I did. I then had to teach myself how to work a program that I didn't know. I began teaching myself Unreal in order to complete my tasks, and prove myself worthy, not only to the Leads of the track, as well as myself.

I learned how to use other programs such as MetaHuman to design my main character. I used assets to design the level. I spent the past four months completing tasks and learning how to use the program. I know that I am no where near those who went and got their BSA in Game Design. But, I did it.

Then the scariest part of all. It was time for the interview. I just want it noted that I hate interviews. I get nervous, and I fear that they will see that I am unworthy, and see all my flaws. I feel they will laugh in my face for even trying. I know. I know. Overdramatic. But it is all my worst fears.

The interview was an hour long. I heard back less than twenty minutes later and was informed I made it in. I was over the moon, and I still am. I keep pinching myself thinking that is all a dream. I am waiting to wake up and realize that I still have to do my interview, or worse, that I didn't get in.

Once more, I know. Dramatic. But hey, maybe that is what makes me so me. I push myself so hard because I fear the worse. If I put in all the work, and I show that I am willing to give up so much to learn, then that makes me worth it. At least to myself it makes me worth it.

So over 60 hours of hard work. Missed time with family. Sleepless nights. I made my way in to the track I wanted more than anything else, and I am on a new journey as I continue my schooling.

I know this is a short update, but I wanted to share in the amazing news with everyone. I am thankful for all of the continued support, and for everyone who continues to read these.

And if you are here, reading this, and you've made it all the way to the end, please, go and start a conversation and make some new friends in the forum. I have it open for each and every one of you.

Remember, each and every one of you is a beautiful soul deserving of being on this wonderful green earth.